Toilet Etiquette. Toitiquette.

antique-toilet-ancient-medieval-pottyThis thing happened to me a couple of weeks ago that’s left me reeling. Not constantly reeling ever since, just re-reeling whenever I remember it happened.


A corporate office. People here are smart. Some of them are even well dressed. Not this person, obviously, not me. I am not talented at well dressing.

The toilets in this establishment are frequently cleaned. They are places of relative comfort, considering that there are three adjacent stalls, divided by only thin custom wood that goes neither to the floor nor the ceiling, and that people sit in those stalls with their bottom halves naked letting out smellies.

I needed to use one of these communal swill buckets, so I ventured forth, but when I entered the pooping arena I was greeted with an UNPLEASANT SURPRISE.

There was a woman in one of the cubicles on the phone. On. The. Phone.

And I really needed to pee.

How has this happened to us? How have we become a society in which people think it’s ok to force first, their boring personal conversations on those of us who just want to pee in peace, (who want peece. Sorry.) and second, the sounds of strangers urinating on the poor saps on the other end of the phone?

In case you are the sort of person who talks on the phone whilst on the loo: PLEASE DON’T DO IT WHEN I’M AROUND.

That is all.

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